


Sound of Music

by zebraljb



Category: NSYNC
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-27
Updated: 2011-12-27
Packaged: 2017-10-28 06:54:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 13,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/305010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zebraljb/pseuds/zebraljb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Justin has become a spoiled pop star who thinks he rules the world.  No matter what, Lance still loves him, and is there for him when the unbelievable happens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

SOUND OF MUSIC  
One

 

“I asked for leather. A simple, black, leather jacket. You can find one in ANY mall. WHY is this so hard for you people?” Justin snapped.

The assistant seemed to shrink before him. “Well, Mr. Timberlake, we couldn’t get one in time, and we never thought you’d actually wear something from the mall and…”

“Damn right I wouldn’t,” Justin interrupted. “Just find me something else to go over the wifebeater, okay? I don’t know what it is, as long as it’s black. Can you manage to do that?”

“Yes, sir.” She scrambled away, almost in tears.

“God, J, it’s just a Teen Magazine shoot,” Joey said gently.

“So? I asked for a black leather jacket, and I expect to get what I ask for. I’m Justin Timberlake, for God’s sake.” He looked at Lance, who was slipping his feet into a pair of sandals. “Hey, Lance, lemme wear those.”

“Well, I just got them and…”

“Aw, c’mon, Lance. You got other shoes.” Justin actually knelt down and removed them from Lance’s feet. Justin slid the sandals on and left the dressing room.

“Dude, why the hell do you let him walk all over you like that?” Chris asked Lance.

Lance shrugged. “Sometimes it’s easier than hearing him bitch.”

“And all he does lately is bitch,” JC said, pulling a shirt over his head.

Lance sighed and said nothing. He knew he’d find the sandals after the shoot, tossed in a corner after being stretched out by Justin’s big feet. He knew Justin walked all over him. Justin gave new meaning to the word primadonna. In public, he was sweet and generous. In private, he was inconsiderate, rude and egotistical.

But it wasn’t always this way. Lance wistfully remembered back to the beginning of NSYNC, when he and Justin spent so much time together and had all kinds of good times. They were often left behind, and Lance had never thought he could find anything in common with the vibrant and athletic Justin. But they grew close, and they’d even fall asleep together, curled into a little adolescent ball. But things changed after they grew big in America.

Lance sighed again and looked down at his bare feet. He’d just go barefoot.

 

Justin took one look at Lance’s bare feet and decided that HE wanted to be barefoot. Lance slid his shoes back on and sure enough, they were stretched out so far he almost tripped walking to his place in front of the camera.

“We going out tonight?” Joey asked as they pranced around for the camera.

“Let’s hit a strip club,” Chris suggested.

“No, thanks,” JC said, jumping onto Joey’s back.

“C’mon, Jayce…maybe we can get some guys up there on stage for you and Lance,” Justin suggested. Lance blushed slightly, as he always did whenever Justin mentioned the fact that Lance and JC were gay. The guys were all good about it, but it still bothered him that they even thought twice about the whole situation.

“OR, maybe YOU guys could come to one of OUR strip clubs,” JC suggested, making a face at Chris as the camera clicked.

“NO THANK YOU!” Joey almost yelled. JC chuckled and winked at Lance.

“Lance will come out with us, won’t you, Lance?” Justin asked. He gave Lance a one-armed hug and the photographer loved it. Justin put his face close to Lance’s and gave the million-dollar smile. “I bet you like girls somewhere under there.”

“Not really, Justin,” Lance said, inching away slightly. “But I’ll come if you want me to.”

 

The night was long. Too long. Lance was stuck between Justin and Chris, watching them hoot and yell and throw money at the girls who were too tired and too skinny, in Lance’s opinion. Somehow he made it through, and then he was suddenly alone with Justin, in Justin’s hotel room. He and Justin had both had a bit too much to drink, and they were sitting in a comfortable little ball on the balcony.

“Thanks for comin’ along tonight, Lancey,” Justin slurred, hugging him.

“No problem.” Lance enjoyed the warmth of Justin’s embrace. It had been so long since a man had paid attention to him, and even though it was Justin, he could pretend it was someone else. And it reminded him of those days back at the beginning.

“Ya know, I just play when I talk about you likin’ boys, Lance, right?” Justin looked at him somberly. “Wanna know a secret? I let a guy suck me off once.”

“You what?” Lance wasn’t drunk enough to miss that one.

“Sure…it was kinda nice…I mean, he was kinda sexy…had nice lips…like yours.” Justin studied Lance carefully. “I bet all guys wanna suck me…girls already do, that I know.”

“Justin,” Lance said wearily. Justin carefully stood up and went to the railing.

“I’m Justin Fucking Timberlake, man, and EVERYONE loves me!” Justin screamed to the city. “I’m handsome, I’m sexy, and I’m damn talented. There’s NOTHING anyone could take away from me that I can’t do without, man, because I am IT!”

Lance closed his eyes as Justin fell into a fit of giggles. “Help me, God,” Lance murmured looking up at the stars.

“God’s not up there, man. God’s RIGHT here.” Justin pointed to himself. “Ain’t nothing all the gods in all the religions in the world can do that can hurt me, man, ya know? Cuz I’m Justin.”

“You sure are,” Lance said, nodding. Justin wove back inside, and Lance stared up at the stars again. “That’s not Justin,” he whispered. “I’d give anything to get Justin back.”


	2. Chapter 2

SOUND OF MUSIC  
Two

 

Two young men slept. They slept the sleep of the young and exhausted, as well as the young and intoxicated. They slept in separate beds, in separate rooms, but they slept alike. One slept on his left side, the other on his right. One hand fisted the sheet up against a smooth chest while the other hand was tucked under the pillow. At almost the same exact time, they would shift and roll over.

“Are you sure about this?” A voice said. The voice was normal volume, yet neither of the men heard it. The voice was in both rooms at the same time, high above the bed.

“Definitely,” a second voice said.

“He doesn’t deserve it,” Voice One said. “Look at him…thinking he’s something special.” Voice One scowled as it looked at the man with the short curls and the long legs. “He deserves to just be alone for the rest of his miserable life.”

“But HE doesn’t,” Voice Two said gently, looking at the other man, the sleeping blond. “He deserves everything. He’s a good person. And deep down, the other one’s good, too. He just let it all go to his head.”

“Well, what in the world can WE do to make him remember?” Voice One snapped. “This one asked for the way he used to be. Can we DO that?”

“Yes, we can.” Voice Two smiled. “Remember how he said that there was nothing we could take from him that he’d actually miss? Well, there’s ONE thing. And as of right now, he no longer has it.”

 

“Dammit, Justin…we have thirty-five minutes to eat breakfast. Will you haul your spoiled lazy ass outta bed?” Chris barked, slapping Justin’s hotel room door. “JUSTIN!”

“God, Chris, some people are still in bed,” Joey said, coming out of his hotel room. “Relax. If he misses breakfast, he misses breakfast.”

“Lance isn’t up, either,” JC said. “They’re probably hung over. Or maybe Justin went down to the gym.”

“I’ve already been there,” Chris said. “C’mon. I’m sick of waiting on him. Let Lance get him up.”

 

Justin yawned and stretched, opening one eye as he looked at the clock. Both eyes flew open as he realized it was nine o’clock. They were supposed to be somewhere by ten, and he still had to shower and eat breakfast. He wondered what had happened to his alarm. He slapped the clock angrily, then jumped out of bed. In his haste he bumped the nightstand, and the lamp teetered before falling to the floor with a loud thump.

At least Justin FELT a loud thump, the vibrations moving slightly through his bare feet. But he didn’t hear the thump. “If a lamp falls in an empty room, does it still make a sound?” He said jokingly to himself, then he frowned. He felt the resonance of the words as they echoed through his skull, but he didn’t hear them in his ears. “Hello?” Justin said. Yet again, nothing. He scratched his head, tugging at the curls as he went to the bathroom. He turned on the shower, waiting for the annoying whine as the water rushed up to the fifteenth floor, where all of NSYNC was staying. Nothing. He didn’t even hear the water hitting the bathtub.

Now Justin was alarmed. He ran back into the hotel room and picked up his Discman, sliding the earphones onto his head. He pushed play, and turned the volume knob all the way up. Absolutely nothing. He tossed the CD player onto the bed, and frantically pulled on a pair of shorts. He grabbed his keycard and opened the door, desperate to find another person.

 

“Man, I should not drink like that. I hate this hangover shit,” Lance muttered to himself as he let himself back into his room. He had made it down to breakfast and was halfway into his French toast before he realized he had left his wallet in the room. He grabbed his wallet from the nightstand and went back into the hallway. He was scared out of his mind when someone grabbed him. Lance whirled around. “Jesus, Justin, kill me, please!” Lance gasped. He stared at Justin. “Dude, you’re not even dressed.” Justin gasped and stared at Lance, tears actually filling his blue eyes. “I was just kidding,” Lance said.

“Lance, can you hear me?” Justin spoke slowly, carefully enunciating his words.

“Yes, I can,” Lance said, mimicking Justin. “God, what’s wrong with you?”

“I…Lance, I can’t hear you.”

“Ha ha, Justin. Yet another trick to play on Lance. Well, I’m not in the mood for this and I’m hungry.” Lance pushed by him and went towards the elevator.

“Lance.” Lance was stopped by the pure fear in Justin’s voice. He slowly turned around. “Lance, I can’t hear you. I can’t hear your voice. I can’t hear my voice. I overslept because I couldn’t hear the alarm. I knocked a lamp on the floor and didn’t hear it break. Lance…I can’t hear.”

“Hey.” Lance came over and put an arm around Justin. “It’s gonna be okay. Why don’t you go take a shower, and I’ll call the hotel doctor. We’ll send Chris, JC and Joey on to the interview without us, okay?”

“I missed that,” Justin said sadly. “I don’t think I can read lips.”

Lance sighed. “You…shower.” Lance spoke slowly and mimicked showering. Justin nodded. “Me…call…doctor. Others…interview. Okay?”

“Okay,” Justin whispered. He went into his hotel room and Lance followed him, shaking his head.


	3. Chapter 3

SOUND OF MUSIC  
Three

 

“There doesn’t seem to be anything wrong,” the doctor said, putting his instruments away. Justin looked at Lance in confusion, and when Lance slowly shook his head, Justin clenched his fists in frustration. “I mean, I’m not a specialist or anything. I can recommend one, though.”

Lance looked around the room and found what he was searching for: a hotel-issued tablet of paper on the nightstand. He grabbed it and scribbled a note to Justin. Justin quickly nodded and Lance looked at the doctor. “I think that would be a good idea…but it needs to be immediately.”

“I’ll make some calls.” The doctor looked at Justin and spoke slowly. “You didn’t fall?” Justin read his lips and shook his head. “Have you been sick?” Justin shook his head again. “Very strange. I’ll have someone give you a call here as soon as possible.”

“Wait. Let me give you my cellphone number,” Lance said. “We need to get some breakfast, and Justin wouldn’t…he wouldn’t hear the phone, anyway.” Lance wrote down his number and gave it to the doctor. “Thank you, Sir.”

“No problem.” The doctor gave Justin an encouraging smile and left the hotel suite.

Justin sat on the bed, long legs curled under him. He looked at Lance, lips drawn into a pout. But Lance knew it wasn’t for show. Justin was scared to death. “It’s okay,” Lance said, sitting next to Justin. Justin put his head on Lance’s shoulder.

“What am I gonna do, Lance?” Justin asked. “I can’t fucking hear. I can’t do interviews…I’ll barely be able to do a photo shoot.” Justin’s head shot up. “God, I can’t…can’t sing.”

“We don’t have to sing. Not for another three weeks,” Lance said. Justin looked at him. Lance sighed and grabbed the pad of paper.

“I know that…but I sing every day, Lance, if only for me.”

“Let’s get breakfast.” Lance pantomimed eating. Justin sighed and nodded. “The doctor will call me.” Lance picked up his cellphone and Justin nodded again.

 

It took everything Justin had not to grab Lance’s hand and hold it. The world was an incredibly scary place now. Everything seemed to move so fast. People scurried by on the sidewalk, and cars seem to speed by on the street. They went to a sidewalk café about three blocks from the hotel, wearing sunglasses and floppy hats.

“French toast,” Lance said, remembering the breakfast at the hotel that he never got to finish.

“Ham and Swiss omelet,” Justin said. He closed his menu and studied the tablecloth.

“And what kind of toast, Sir?” The waiter asked. Justin seemed to ignore him and the waiter got huffy. “I know who you are, you know. There’s no need to act this way.”

“He likes wheat,” Lance said quickly, smiling at the waiter.

“I heard the stories, but man, I never thought they were true,” the waiter grumbled to himself as he snapped up the menus and left the table. Lance sighed and stirred cream into his coffee.

Justin studied Lance carefully. “I’m sorry,” he said finally, and Lance stared at him. “I’m sorry you’re stuck with me. I could call one of the bodyguards…they’re probably wondering where we slipped off to, anyway.” Lance pulled out the tablet he had brought along, and jotted down a short note. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. The less people who know about this, the better,” Justin agreed.

“Um, can we have your autographs?” Two teenage girls nervously fidgeted by the table.

“Sure,” Lance said, smiling at them. Justin smiled as well, though Lance noticed a hint of irritation in the blue eyes.

“Can you write it to Stephanie?” One girl asked Justin, and of course, he ignored her.

“I’m sorry,” Lance said, adding “To Stephanie” above his own signature. “Justin’s got a bad head cold…he can’t hear a darn thing.”

“Oh,” she said, relieved.

The girls thanked them and walked away. Lance overheard one of them saying something about how Justin was a lot nicer than she had expected him to be. Lance wrote to Justin on the notepad. “I think this is the quietest you’ve been in a long time,” he tried to joke. Justin didn’t smile back.

“I’m just worried. Worried about what’s gonna happen. Worried about if this will last forever.”

“I’m sure it won’t,” Lance wrote. “I’m sure the doctor will find something wrong and fix it for you.”

Justin gave him a small smile, but said nothing. They were almost finished with their meals when Lance’s phone rang. Justin looked on with interest as Lance spoke, but frowned at the look in Lance’s eyes. “What is it?” Justin asked when Lance hung up.

“The specialist can be there in an hour,” he wrote, and that was all he would say.

 

Lance stood in the hallway as the specialist examined Justin in Justin’s hotel room. Lance paced like an expectant father, biting at a thumbnail. In a way, this Justin was nice to be around. He wasn’t flaunting himself, or being a jerk. And yet it was like it WASN’T Justin, and Lance didn’t like that one bit.

“Hey, dude, where the hell did you disappear to?” Joey asked as they walked up the hall.

“I was with Justin,” Lance answered. Chris rolled his eyes.

“Is the baby sick? Did he break a nail?”

“Look, Chris, it’s not like that,” Lance insisted.

“Is there something going on between you two?” JC asked suddenly, and Lance stared at him.

“Hell, no. He’s not even like that, JC,” Lance said, ignoring what Justin had told him the night before.

“Whatever. What’s going on, Lance?” JC asked.

The door opened and the specialist looked at Lance. “You can come in now.”

The four men filed into the room. Justin’s eyes widened with surprise as he watched their other bandmates sit down. “Well?” Lance asked.

“I see absolutely no cause for this ailment. I have no clue why your friend has suddenly lost his hearing. I…”

“Lost his hearing?” Chris began to laugh hysterically. Lance glared at him. The doctor ignored him.

“I think it would be best for him to go back to Florida and have more serious tests done, but he refuses.”

“What a surprise,” Lance murmured. “Is there anything we can do?”

“I understand that this must be kept low-key. At any rate, just keep an eye on him, look for anything else out of the ordinary.”

“Thank you, Doctor.” The doctor shook Justin’s hand, then Lance’s. He closed his bag and left the room.

“What the hell’s going on here?” Joey exploded.

“Let me explain,” Justin began, reading Joey’s confusion in his body language.

“Let me,” Lance said gently, and Justin nodded. “Justin woke up this morning and couldn’t hear.”

Chris laughed again. “Something new…a new way for the diva to get attention.”

“Chris, no, it’s not like that. He really can’t hear,” Lance insisted.

“It IS like that, Lance. God, I wonder if you DON’T have a thing for him, the way you let him fuck you over. He’s lying. He just wants attention, wants his name in the paper.” Chris glared at Justin. “I don’t buy it.”

Justin looked at Lance helplessly. The conversation was moving too fast for him to follow. “Justin, say something,” Joey said. Justin just shrugged and shook his head.

“This is low even for you, Justin,” JC said, shaking his head. He got up to leave.

“No. JC, wait. I swear…”

“I don’t wanna hear it, Lance,” JC said. One by one they left the room, leaving Lance to deal with a very bewildered Justin.


	4. Chapter 4

SOUND OF MUSIC  
Four

 

Lance ran a hand through his hair. Justin looked at him unhappily. “That didn’t go well,” Justin stated. “I can’t hear, but I could sure as hell feel it.”

“No, it didn’t.” Justin read that sentence easily. Lance picked up the notepad, then put it down. He held up a finger to make Justin wait, then went to his own room. He came back with his laptop. He could type much faster than he could write on paper.

Justin waited impatiently for the computer to boot up, and for Lance to open the notepad program. “They think you’re making it up to get attention,” Justin read out loud. He stared at Lance. “Making it up? Why the HELL would I make this up?” Lance typed again. “Because you wanted more attention…a new way to overshadow everyone else.” Justin placed a hand on Lance’s shoulder. “I swear, Lance, I’m not making this up. I can’t hear!”

“I know, Justin,” Lance said, nodding. He typed some more.

“You’ve been acting…different for the last couple of years, Justin. You’re snobbish, arrogant and egotistical. You only care about yourself.” Lance’s fingers shook slightly as he typed. He never thought he’d have the guts to tell Justin the truth, but it was easier now. He felt like he had a bit more control now.

“I do not!” Justin yelled. “Lance, you’re a jerk. Here I am, suffering, and you throw all these lies in my face!”

“Justin,” Lance said helplessly.

“Get out,” Justin said savagely. “You’re a sack of shit. Some friend YOU are.”

Lance silently packed up his laptop and left Justin’s room.

 

“Come in,” Lance said dully, staring at the ceiling. He had left Justin’s room three hours before, and all he could do was stare at the ceiling and think about Justin. He hadn’t told Justin what had bothered him most about the entire conversation with JC, Joey and Chris: the whole idea of him wanted Justin as more than a friend. That was something he hadn’t even thought about for almost four years.

“Hey, Lance? I can’t come in…it’s locked, man.”

Lance grumbled as he slowly got up and went to the door. “Hi, Joey.”

“Can I come in?” Joey looked almost guilty.

“Sure,” Lance said with a sigh. “What’s up?”

“I’m sorry…about what happened earlier,” Joey said finally. “We weren’t very supportive, but can you see our side of it?”

“Of course I can,” Lance snapped. “Justin’s been a real dickhead the last few years, and now he suddenly finds a new way to be the center of everyone’s attention. Why wouldn’t I see your side? That’s the first thing I thought…oh great, yet another reason for people to fawn all over him. But I’ve seen him, Joey. He doesn’t hear ANYTHING. Fans came up and he couldn’t even hear what they were asking for. He didn’t hear the waiter at breakfast. Justin’s a decent actor, but even he wouldn’t carry it this far. And then there’s the look in his eyes…he’s petrified.”

“Jesus.” Joey took a deep breath. “So, now what?”

“I need to call Johnny, but I’m gonna suggest we say Justin’s really sick. We say he has the flu, and we cover up for him at interviews. He can do the photo shoots, but we’re supposed to perform at that thing back in Orlando soon…I don’t know what we’ll do then.” Lance clenched his fists in frustration.

“This isn’t your problem to solve, Lance,” Joey said gently.

“I know…but I’m worried about him.”

“Do you…care…about him that way, Lance?” Joey asked.

“No, of course not,” Lance said sternly.

“Okay, just asking. Wanna come out for a bit, go for a walk?” Joey asked. “We actually have the afternoon free.”

“No…thanks. I’d rather just rest a bit.”

“Okay, Lance. Call my cell if you need anything.”

“You should be saying that to Justin,” Lance said, and Joey looked guilty. Then Lance smiled. “Not that he’d be able to use the phone to call you.” Joey smiled and left the hotel room.

Lance fell back onto the bed and thought about Justin.

 

“Here…you finish it.” Eighteen-year old Lance shoved the glass of beer at Justin.

“No…YOU,” Justin said, shoving it back. The dark brown German beer slopped out of the glass onto the bedspread. The boys looked at each other and burst into giggles.

“I love Joey for getting us this,” Lance sighed, lying back on the bed.

“Me, too.” Justin drained the glass and tossed it onto the floor. “He’s such a great guy.”

“I know…and doesn’t he have a great smile?” Lance asked dreamily.

“Yeah,” Justin said, sighing. Then he sat up. “What did you say?”

“I said that Joey has a nice smile. I think he does.”

“Lance, he’s a guy.”

“So?” Lance giggled again. “I think he has a very nice smile and nice eyes.”

“Are you…gay?” Justin swallowed deeply. Lou would have a fit, and Justin liked Lance. He didn’t want Lou to fire him.

“Yeah.” Lance wasn’t smiling anymore. “Do you hate me?” He couldn’t believe he had even said anything. He had worked very hard to make sure Justin never found out.

“No! No way!” Justin said quickly, and Lance smiled, relieved.

“Good…because you’re like my best friend, J.”

“You’re mine, too,” Justin said, and it was true. They knew everything about each other, and they kept each other from feeling too homesick. Justin stared at Lance, the beer making him brave. “What about me?”

“What about you?”

“Do I have a nice smile and nice eyes?” Justin almost looked insulted and Lance grinned.

“Ego much? Your eyes are nice, but your smile is AMAZING, Justin. It’s just so big and beautiful.”

“Thank you,” Justin said softly, then giggled. “I knew it. I’m a hottie.”

“Yeah, you are,” Lance said. Justin impulsively leaned in and gave Lance a kiss on the lips. Lance stared at him. “What was that?”

“Dunno…wanted to see if it felt different from a girl.”

“And?” Lance asked, touching his lips.

“Nope. Just the same.” Justin rolled onto his back and closed his eyes. “Damn, I’m tired.” Justin quickly fell into the sleep of the intoxicated. Lance lay awake, touching his lips. Like he hadn’t had an insane crush on his best friend already, and now this. But Justin was straight, and Lance knew it. So Lance pushed those feelings down deep, down with all the other things that he thought and felt and wasn’t allowed to talk about.


	5. Chapter 5

SOUND OF MUSIC  
Five

 

Lance sighed as he knocked on the door. He knew it wouldn’t do any good, anyway. He looked down at the spare keycard he had finagled from the front desk, and swiped it through the reader.

Justin was still asleep, one arm thrown over his head. Lance swallowed deeply, those feelings rushing back after all the effort he gave to hide them. Regardless of how much of a jerk he was, Justin was absolutely beautiful. Lance leaned over and gently shook him. Justin opened one eye. Lance pointed to his watch. Justin sat up and yawned, looked at his clock, then went into the shower without saying a word to Lance.

Lance sighed again as he sat down on a chair and dialed a number on his cellphone. “It’s too damn early!” The voice on the other end barked.

“Hi, Johnny, it’s Lance.”

“Do you know that it’s too damn early?”

“Yes, I do,” Lance said with a smile. “It’s about Justin.”

“NOW what did he do? Hit a fan? Piss off a photographer?”

“No…actually, he’s been pretty nice the last day or so,” Lance said truthfully. “It’s just…I don’t know if we’ll be able to do that performance when we get back.”

“WHAT?” Johnny Wright yelled, and Lance could hear the sleepy voice of his wife in the background.

“Justin’s got some kind of bug, Johnny. It’s affected his hearing. He CAN sing, I’m sure, but he won’t be able to hear the harmonies or any of the cues.”

“Dammit, Lance…”

“I just wanted you to know, okay? I’ll talk to you later, if anything else comes up.” Lance hung up his phone as Justin came out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist.

“Who was that?” Justin asked, going to his closet.

Lance waited for Justin to turn back around. “Johnny.”

“Did you tell him I’m some sort of asshole deaf freak?” Justin snapped.

“No.” Lance pulled out the tablet and wrote, “I told him you have some sort of bug affecting your hearing and that you might not be able to perform. He already knows you’re an asshole.”

Justin read the words and couldn’t keep the smile from his face. “Ha ha. What are we doing today?” Lance pantomimed a camera. “Good. I don’t need to hear much for that.” Justin looked at Lance and sighed. “Can you…can you help me today?”

Lance ignored the fact that he got no apology from Justin. “Sure.”

“And maybe in the car on the way over, we can try to sing,” Justin suggested. Lance simply nodded.

 

“So? Are we still playing mute?” Chris asked, waving a hand in front of Justin’s face as they arrived in the lobby.

“Mute would mean he couldn’t talk, dumbass,” Joey snapped. He smiled at Justin, who smiled sadly and shook his head.

“Justin wants us to try and sing on the way,” Lance said. “To see if he can do it.”

“Of course he can do it,” JC said. “Justin can do everything, remember? Justin’s so perfect that he doesn’t NEED us.”

Justin couldn’t understand JC’s words, but he could tell from the look in JC’s eyes and the shock on Lance’s face that it wasn’t nice. “I’m sorry, you know, about this. It’s not something I wanted to happen.”

JC turned to Justin and exaggerated his words so Justin could read his lips. “You…love…being…the star.” JC turned on one heel and left the hotel.

“Damn,” Chris muttered, though he felt the same way.

“Have I really gotten that bad?” Justin whispered.

“That is the first time in FOREVER that I’ve heard you apologize,” Joey wrote when Lance shoved the tablet at him. Justin blushed and followed them to the van.

“So, what should we sing?” Lance asked.

“Try This I Promise You,” Joey suggested. Lance wrote the title down for Justin, who began to quietly sing. He got a little louder as he went on, and his voice was on key, but he couldn’t hear them behind them, and he ended up singing at a different tempo than they were, as well as in a different key. One by one they faded out, and when Justin saw the look on Lance’s face, he stopped as well.

“God,” he whispered. Tears filled his blue eyes and he looked out the window. Even Chris felt sorry for him.

“Well, at least we can do this photo shoot,” Chris said. “And then tonight…”

“Tonight we’re supposed to do an interview,” JC reminded him, beginning to believe that Justin was seriously ailing. “How can he do that?”

“It’s print, though,” Lance pointed out. “We’ll cover for him. How many times have we covered for each other before?”

“Right,” Joey said slowly. He reached over and put a hand on Justin’s knee. Justin glanced at him and Joey gave him a reassuring smile. Justin smiled back, then looked out the window once more.

 

“Hey.” Lance put his hand on Justin’s shoulder. The photographer was working with the “three brunettes,” as he called Joey, Chris and JC, so Justin had wandered off to a corner. “You okay?”

“I can’t sing, Lance,” Justin said, his hands working over each other. “I can’t fucking SING. What else am I good for?”

“Hey, stop that,” Lance said soothingly, shocked to see tears fall from Justin’s blue eyes.

“I can’t sing, I can’t hear…apparently I’m some kind of obnoxious dickhead…”

“Not ALL the time,” Lance said, but Justin shook his head.

“Fuck…what’s left for me?”

“C’mere.” Lance gave Justin a big hug, inhaling Justin’s cologne as Justin cried on his shoulder. “It’ll be okay,” Lance said, rubbing Justin’s back, but he wondered how in the world it WOULD be okay.


	6. Chapter 6

SOUND OF MUSIC  
Six

 

The interview was a nightmare for Justin, but he made it through with Lance’s help. Lance sat close to him, and on his lap was a notebook. He jotted quick notes to Justin in a type of scribbled shorthand, so Justin could try to answer the reporter’s questions as normally as possible. The reporter thought that Justin was slightly rude for continually looking at the little notes Lance was obviously passing him before every question, but since the word was out that Justin was pretty much an obnoxious asshole, the reporter considered himself lucky that it was ALL Justin had done wrong.

JC, Joey and Chris left the conference room of the hotel, laughing as they made their way to the elevators. Justin held Lance back. “So, uh, are they going out after dinner?”

“Yeah, they, um, asked me to come along,” Lance said. He then remembered that Justin probably couldn’t understand him, but from the sad look on Justin’s face, Lance figured that Justin probably HAD understood.

“Okay, well, I think I’ll just eat in my room. Maybe I can go down to the front desk and ask them to call room service for me. Have a nice time.” Justin turned back towards the lobby, a bodyguard on his heels.

“No! Justin…” Lance ran after him, tugging on the back of his jacket. “Wait. Come to dinner.” Lance pantomimed eating, then shook his head. “I’m not going out.”

“You’re not?”

“No. I’d rather stay in with you.” Lance smiled. “Really.” Lance pulled out the tiny notepad. “Or we could go with them,” he wrote. “You can definitely feel the music in a club. And most of the time, you can’t hear people talk in a club, anyway.”

Justin shook his head. “I’d feel weird. I’ll stay back…but you don’t have to.”

“Justin, I want to,” Lance said softly, and he was shocked to see tears in Justin’s eyes.

“Thanks,” Justin whispered. “Where are they going?” Lance pointed to the hotel dining room and Justin rolled his eyes. “Did JC pick again?”

Lance grinned. The hotel restaurant had a gourmet menu. “Just be glad you don’t have to hear Chris bitch about the food,” Lance wrote. “Did you want to go somewhere else?” Justin nodded and smiled. “Meet me down here in half an hour?” Justin nodded again and they headed for the elevator.

It wasn’t until he was unlocking his own door that Lance realized that it was exactly like they were going on a date.

 

“This is what you want for dinner?” Lance asked in disbelief. Justin nodded happily, and the bodyguards gave a sigh of relief. “Pizza,” Lance said. Justin nodded again.

“I know…I’m a cheap date,” Justin said. Lance glanced at him quickly. Justin gave him that beautiful smile, and Lance could only smile back.

Lance placed their order while Justin sat at a tiny table in the back of the pizzeria. He brought their Cokes back to the table and sat down across from Justin. “You know Joey will be MAD,” Lance said, overemphasizing his words. Justin grinned again to show he understood. Lance reached over without thinking and straightened Justin’s baseball cap. It wasn’t the BEST disguise, but who really expected to see Justin Timberlake and Lance Bass in a dingy little pizza shop? Justin caught Lance’s hand and held it for a split second.

“Thank you,” Justin said quietly, and Lance knew he meant it in more ways than one. Lance nodded and said nothing.

They waited for their pizza, not speaking. Lance studied a crack in the tablecloth, trying not to think about being on a date with Justin. Lance shook his head and groaned inwardly. It HAD been way too long, if he was having those thoughts about Justin again. Those thoughts were dead and buried and long gone. Justin was straight, even if he HAD admitted while drunk that he had had a blowjob given to him by another man. Lance had no right thinking about that, because it was just WRONG. He looked at Justin and noticed that Justin was staring at a family seated at a table across the room. Lance studied the family. A mother and father, boy and girl. The girl had an NSYNC shirt on, which was no big deal. Lance then realized what Justin was staring at. The little girl was blond, about nine years old, and was speaking with her hands. She laughed a lot, and her gestures and facial expressions were very cheerful and animated. Justin sighed and rested his chin in his hand, his eyes never leaving the little girl.

“I bet she’s been that way her whole life,” he said quietly. “She’s never heard a song, never heard her mother’s voice, never once heard a tone of approval. And look how fucking happy she is.” Before Lance knew it, Justin was standing up. Lance hurried after him.

“Justin!”

But Justin kept on walking. The mother eyed him warily, but as soon as the little girl’s blue eyes looked up at him, she let out a happy squeak of noise. “Justin!” The little girl said. It was difficult to understand, but it was definitely his name.

“Hi.” Justin bent down so he was on her eye level. “What’s your name?”

“Charlie,” she said slowly.

“Charlotte,” her mother said, smiling. “But she likes Charlie.” Justin smiled at her, obviously not understanding her but not wanting to seem rude. “She reads lips, so she’ll understand you,” the mother continued.

Lance tapped Justin’s shoulder, then pointed to his lips. Justin smiled. “How are you?” The girl smiled and nodded vigorously. “I was just noticing your nice tshirt.” The little girl giggled and blushed. “You like NSYNC, huh?” Again a vigorous nod. She shyly looked down and pointed to Justin on her shirt. “Oh…you like me? The other guys are nice, too.”

“Thanks a lot,” Lance mumbled, and the mother laughed.

“She LOVES you guys. She can’t really hear the music, of course, but she watches all the videotapes and TV shows, and if we turn up the CDs really loud, she can feel the vibrations of the music.” Lance looked down at Justin, who was now shaking hands with Charlie’s older brother. “Our son has perfect hearing…it’s just Charlie who is deaf,” the woman said with a small sigh.

Lance pulled out the notepad that he used to talk to Justin, and ripped off a clean sheet of paper. “I’m gonna give you a phone number,” Lance said, scribbling on the paper. “The next time we come into town for ANYTHING, you call him, and he’ll get you tickets. At a concert, she’ll definitely be able to feel the music.” Lance handed her the paper with a smile.

“Thank you,” the mother whispered.

Justin gave Charlie one last hug, closing his eyes as her small arms went around him. When she pulled back, her mother quickly signed to her about the number Lance had given her. With another happy squeal, Charlie threw herself into Justin’s arms again, and he knew immediately what Lance had done. Justin looked up at Lance over her head, smiling at him. The smile warmed Lance all over, and he felt better about himself than he had in weeks.


	7. Chapter 7

SOUND OF MUSIC   
Seven

 

Justin and Lance passed the rest of the guys as they entered the lobby. Joey threw an arm around Lance’s shoulders. “You’re going the wrong way, Bass. The party is THIS way.”

“Nah,” Lance said, shrugging.

“C’mon, Lance. I think Justin can handle it without you tonight. He’s a grownup, as he loves to keep reminding us,” JC said, rolling his eyes.

“I’m staying because I WANT to,” Lance said, glaring at JC. Justin looked from one to the other, the conversation moving too fast for him to even TRY and understand it.

“Aw, are you two on a date?” JC cooed, and Lance glared even more. “Ah,” JC said, his voice full of supposed understanding.

“JC, shut up,” Lance growled. “We went for pizza. Now we’re back. Is it a crime for me NOT to want to go out and get wasted with you guys?”

“Pizza?” Joey wailed.

“For you, Lance, yes, it is. You’re out more then you’re home,” JC reminded him. “You just want to stay back because of…”

“I’m tired,” Justin announced. “And since you’re obviously talking about me, and I can’t really contribute to the conversation ANYWAY, I’m going upstairs. Have a nice time. Thanks, Lance, for dinner.” Justin smiled at Lance, then headed for the elevator. He stopped and signed an autograph for a few girls standing in a corner of the lobby, then a bodyguard followed him out of the room.

“Dammit, will you STOP?” Lance snapped at JC.

“You have a crush on Justin. It’s obvious,” JC said smugly.

“You’re an idiot,” Lance said. He looked at Joey and Chris. “I want to stay in. I’m not going out. End of story. Justin might need someone, and I’d like to be here if he does.”

“Oh, Lance,” Joey said sadly, shaking his head. “I thought you were over all that.”

“Over all WHAT?” Lance asked, exasperated.

“I know you had a thing for Justin way back when, but I thought you outgrew it.”

“I did. I mean, I didn’t. I mean, nevermind,” Lance stammered. “I’m going upstairs, because I’m Justin’s friend.”

“Don’t get TOO friendly,” Chris called after Lance, chuckling. Lance popped the finger at Chris behind his back as he walked to the elevators.

 

Lance slid the keycard through the slot, and the light turned green. He carefully walked into Justin’s room, not wanting to scare him. “Hey,” Justin said in surprise. He wore only his black boxer briefs and Lance shivered. “I was just gonna shower. I thought you were going out.” Lance simply shook his head, and Justin’s smile broadened. “Great. I’d rather not be alone. It’s creepy…not to mention boring. I’ll be right back out.”

Lance flopped onto the bed and tried not to think about Justin in the shower. Joey was right…he HAD outgrown the childish crush…hadn’t he? He couldn’t help but admire Justin; Justin was sexy and talented and so damn charming…when he wasn’t being a total asshole. But Justin was so different now, so vulnerable and needy. Was Lance taking advantage of all that? Lance groaned and buried his face in his crossed arms. This was such a soap opera.

 

When Justin came out of the bathroom, wearing a pair of flannel pajama bottoms, he saw Lance asleep on his bed. He grinned. Lance looked about ten years old when he slept. Justin sat down by Lance’s head and lightly stroked Lance’s pale cheek. “Hey, Sleeping Beauty…wake up.”

“Huh?” Lance’s green eyes blinked owlishly. “I fell asleep?”

“I didn’t know my showers took THAT long.” Justin toweled his short curls dry and threw the towel back into the bathroom. “Do you wanna order something to drink?”

Lance shook his head and pulled out the pad of paper. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” Justin said, sitting back down again.

“The last night we were together like this…you mentioned something about a guy sucking you off,” Lance wrote, his face turning red.

“Oh, that,” Justin said, waving a hand in the air. “I had been drinking…he was hot, I guess.” Lance looked up at him, eyes wide. “It was just one time, you know, just to see what the big deal was for you and JC,” Justin finished with the old cocky grin. Lance smiled and looked down at the tablet. He should have known better. “Hey,” Justin said softly, and Lance looked up. Justin was frowning. “That’s not true.”

“It’s not?” Lance asked.

Justin shook his head. “It’s true that it only happened once, and I was drunk…but it wasn’t just to see what you guys were all about…I was wondering what I myself was all about.”

“Oh,” Lance whispered, but Justin wasn’t looking at him. Justin had wandered over to look out the balcony doors.

“I was jealous of you and JC…you guys always knew and you always were able to talk about it…and I couldn’t. I always noticed guys, but I noticed girls, too…and that made things easier.”

“Jesus,” Lance said out loud. Justin couldn’t hear him anyway. Was Justin saying he was bi?

“I can’t come out like you guys could,” Justin said. “This sounds pretty conceited, but if it came out tomorrow that you and JC were gay, it wouldn’t do half things to your careers, or to NSYNC, that my coming out would. So I just hid all that.”

Anger flared inside of Lance at Justin’s words, but he knew deep down that Justin was right. Lance got up and put a hand on Justin’s back, making Justin turn around and look at him. “I’m sorry,” Lance said. Justin shrugged.

“I hide it well, right?” Lance nodded. “I’m sorry, Lance.” Lance gave him a questioning look. “For turning into the person I have turned into. I don’t know…well, maybe I DO know why. I work so hard at hiding the part of me that I hate that I have now officially turned into a hateful person.”

Lance shook his head. “Not hateful.”

“Like you guys REALLY enjoy being around me,” Justin pointed out. “I admit, I have grown to be spoiled. I’ve grown to want things the way I want them, because I know that ninety-nine percent of the time, I can get them the way I want them. But treating you guys badly…that’s just wrong. And I know I do it a lot to you, because you let me. Why do you let me?”

Lance’s mouth opened and closed. He didn’t know why, exactly. He just put up with it. Because it was Justin. Because he loved… “I dunno.” Lance shrugged to emphasize his words. Justin smiled and gave Lance a hug.

“I’ll try not to do it anymore, okay? I don’t know where I’d be without you right now.”

Lance hid his face in Justin’s shoulder and just enjoyed the brief moment of closeness, not knowing WHAT to say.


	8. Chapter 8

SOUND OF MUSIC  
Eight

 

“So…here we are.” The plane bounced to a stop on the runway, and Justin turned in his seat next to Lance. “This was the longest trip ever, I think.” Lance smiled and nodded. They had been almost inseparable during the remainder of their trip, and Justin’s hearing did not improve. Either did Lance’s feelings for Justin. They kept rumbling to the surface from their place deep in Lance’s heart, and Lance thanked God that Justin couldn’t hear him…he’d definitely hear the emotion and yearning in his voice, Lance just knew it. “So…I need to ask you a favor,” Justin continued in a low voice. Chris and Joey chattered loudly in the row behind them, and JC was still asleep across the aisle. “I…I can’t be alone, Lance.”

Lance had thought about this many times, and realized the truth of it. There was no way Justin could handle being on his own. Many deaf people led normal lives, but Justin’s life was far from normal when he COULD hear. So Lance simply nodded and dug into his pocket.

“What’s this?” Justin looked at the piece of metal Lance had pressed into Justin’s palm. “You…you want me to stay with you?” He fingered the edge of the key. Lance nodded and smiled. “Just for a while,” Justin said. “I have an appointment with a doctor at the hospital tomorrow…maybe he can find out what’s wrong.” Justin’s smile beamed out and he hugged Lance. “God, Lance, thank you SO much. I didn’t want to ask…but I really hoped you of all people would offer.”

“Isn’t that cute?” JC said sleepily. “You two make such a CUTE couple.”

“Will you knock it off?” Lance snapped, turning away from Justin to glare at JC. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were jealous.”

“Of who? You or Justin?” Chris said, chuckling. “Since Justin’s straight and all…I’d have to say he’s jealous of Justin.”

“I’m NOT jealous,” JC said, but he looked away from Lance’s angry glare.

“What the fuck’s your problem?” Lance asked JC. “ARE you jealous? Maybe you’ve had the hots for Justin since he was jailbait, and you can’t handle that maybe he’d want ME?”

“Impossible,” JC scoffed. “Since he’s straight, like Chris said.”

Lance clamped his mouth shut. He would NOT tell Justin’s secret. “Well, for your information, he’s staying with me until he can get to a doctor and find out what’s wrong,” Lance said. “So I don’t want to hear anything else.” Lance glanced at Justin, who was looking at him curiously. “His lip reading’s getting better you know, and he’s not stupid. He can feel that you are upset about something. Quit treating him like a freak.”

“Okay, we’ll just treat him like the spoiled diva he’s always been,” Chris said, picking up his carry-on bag. Lance slapped it out of his hand and Justin jumped.

“And you’re not? I’ve never heard you say that fans are a different breed of people that shouldn’t be trusted? I’ve never heard you whine because the color of paint you want for your new Harley isn’t available when you want it? Get over yourself, Chris. We’re all spoiled divas…but Justin’s the one that everyone notices.” Lance picked up his bag and Justin’s. “C’mon, Justin.”

Justin gave a half-hearted wave at the others and followed at Lance’s heels. “By the looks on their faces, I’d say you just gave them a verbal beat down sandwich…am I right?”

Lance smiled tightly and nodded. “I most certainly did.”

 

Lance swung open the door of what he considered his best guest room. It had a quiet view of his large backyard, and it was decorated simply and comfortably. He wandered into the adjoining bathroom to make sure there were towels hung up and ready. He jumped when he turned around. Justin was right behind him. “Oh!” Lance said in surprise. “Um, here you go.”

“Thank you.” Justin hugged Lance again and this time Lance shifted uncomfortably. These hugs were getting to be so regular…he could almost get used to them. “I, uh, need to go get some things at my house. Can I use one of your cars?” Lance raised a perfect eyebrow. “Oh, come on, Lance…you’re not gonna tell me I can’t drive?”

“You shouldn’t,” Lance said. Justin pouted and Lance’s heart melted. “Okay…but only because it’s just across town.”

Justin’s smile beamed. “Can I take the Mercedes?”

“No.”

“Okay…I’ll take the Runner, then.” Justin bounced out of the bathroom before Lance could stop him.

Justin soon left the house, after a dozen warnings from Lance to be careful. Lance went up to his own bedroom to unpack, but he soon ended up lying on the bed, surrounded by piles of dirty laundry and socks. How stupid was he? He had been fighting feelings for Justin for YEARS. The whole reason he had come out to the other guys was so he could openly look for someone else and forget about Justin Timberlake as anything more than a bandmate and a best friend. Now he had invited heartbreak to stay at his house for a while.

Lance thought long and hard about Chris, Joey and JC. If one of them had lost their hearing or sight, would he have been so quick to offer his help and his home? For Joey, definitely. Joey was his best friend. JC…probably, though living with JC required a certain type of sainthood quality that Lance didn’t think he possessed. And Chris, well, if no one else would have offered, Lance definitely would have, but it would have been a nightmare. But Lance hadn’t thought twice when it came to Justin. And maybe the reason Lance had gotten so snippy with JC (besides the fact that JC could beat Justin sometimes when it came to being an asshole) was because JC was slightly right…Lance DID have a crush on Justin, and he DID see all this as one big date.

Lance groaned and threw an arm over his face. Life wasn’t fair.

 

“Hey, Lance, I brought…” Justin smiled as he saw Lance lying amidst his clothing on the bed, one arm thrown across his face.

Lance sat up suddenly, socks flying. “Oh! You’re back. I didn’t even hear you.” That’s because you were too busy daydreaming about him, dumbass, Lance said to himself.

“Here I am,” Justin said, smiling. “I brought a few groceries, too…things I knew you wouldn’t have.”

“Like cereal?” Lance asked, smiling. He got up and helped Justin drag his bags up the steps and into the guestroom.

“Thank you, Lance. No one else even offered, and you offered before I could ask you,” Justin said softly. “After all the bad things I’ve done to you, I…”

“Shh,” Lance said, unconsciously placing a finger over Justin’s lips. “It’s okay, really.”

Justin lightly puckered his lips, letting them softly press against Lance’s finger. Lance yanked the finger away and Justin frowned. “I, uh, sorry.”

“Yeah, well, I’m gonna unpack.” Lance turned and darted from the room.

Justin slowly opened a suitcase. He couldn’t really hear Lance’s tone of voice, but he could read the horror on his face. Justin just hoped he hadn’t offended Lance, but it had felt so right just to kiss that finger. Justin owed Lance so much, not only for what he was doing for him NOW, but for everything Justin had done to him in the last couple of years.

Justin felt a tap on his shoulder and jumped. He turned around to see Lance smiling bashfully. “Sorry,” he read Lance’s lips say. Lance pantomimed showering and Justin nodded. Lance gave him one more shy smile, then left the room.

Justin knew that the reason Lance had told him where he would be was so Justin would know if he ran around the house calling for him and couldn’t find him. Justin thought that was very considerate of Lance, and also very rude, because all Justin could do now was picture Lance in the shower…a mental picture he had never really considered before.


	9. Chapter 9

SOUND OF MUSIC  
Nine

 

Lance was up and reading the newspaper by nine the next morning. He had spent the beginning of the day trying his best to tiptoe around the house. When he realized what he was doing, he had laughed out loud. Justin couldn’t hear him, so it made no difference how much noise he made.

At ten-thirty, he heard the upstairs shower running. Justin’s appointment was at eleven-thirty, and Lance had been ready to waken Justin at ten forty-five. Apparently Justin’s inner alarm clock was adjusting. Lance decided to be a gracious host and bring Justin some breakfast. He poured some Lucky Charms into a bowl, added milk, then poured a cup of coffee. He carefully carried the mug and bowl up the steps, and went into the room Justin was using. Lance heard Justin singing as he sat the items down on the dresser. Justin might not have been able to sing correctly with the rest of them, but alone he still sounded perfect.

“Your own…Personal…Jesus…someone to hear your prayers…someone who cares…” Justin sang over the sound of the shower. Lance had to chuckle. The last thing he expected to hear from Justin was Depeche Mode. The water stopped and Lance jumped. He didn’t need Justin to find him lurking around his bedroom. Before he could dart out the door, however, the door from the bathroom opened.

“Uh, hi,” Lance said nervously. Justin appeared in the doorway, wearing absolutely nothing.

“Oh!” Justin said in surprise. Lance turned red to the tips of his ears. Justin swallowed, then walked into the room to get his clothing. They had been naked in front of each other millions of times. This time, however, there was an odd strain in the air. Lance looked everywhere but at Justin, and Justin randomly grabbed something to wear, praying that whatever he picked actually matched.

“Breakfast,” Lance said, pointing at the cereal and coffee. Justin smiled.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Lance made it out into the hallway, closing the bedroom door and gasping for breath. Justin was too beautiful. This wasn’t fair.

 

“I’m leaving!” Justin called up the steps at eleven-fifteen. Lance came barreling down, fastening his belt as he walked. “I’ll be back in…”

“I’m coming with you.” Lance grabbed his car keys and took Justin by the arm.

“You’re coming along?” Justin asked. Lance nodded. “Thanks,” Justin said gratefully. He was scared to death of what the doctor might find, but he didn’t want to bother Lance by asking him to come along. Justin slid into the passenger seat of the car, feeling much more relaxed.

 

The doctor frowned as he looked at Lance. “And he had no trauma? Physical or psychological?”

“No,” Lance said. “He just woke up like this.”

“You know what’s wrong, right, Doctor?” Justin gave him the old charming smile. “I bet you do.”

“I bet I don’t,” the doctor said sadly, and Lance’s face fell. Justin took one look at him and sighed.

“So basically you’re telling me that it’s good I saved my money, because I will NOT be making any more by singing.” Justin angrily kicked at the leg of the chair he was sitting on.

“No, I’m not saying that,” the doctor said. “I could run more tests and…”

“No, don’t bother.” Justin stood and held out his hand. “Thank you for your time.” The doctor shook the hand and Justin hurried out of the room.

“Thank you,” Lance said over his shoulder, running after Justin. He had the notepad out as he ran.

“I don’t believe this. A fucking specialist doesn’t even know what’s going on.” Justin kicked the tire of Lance’s car. “What the hell did I do to deserve this?” Lance shoved the notepad at Justin. “I don’t WANT to go to another specialist, Lance. They’ll all say the same thing. And I KNOW what I did to deserve this. Apparently being a total prick DOES earn some sort of punishment.” Justin flopped into the passenger seat and said nothing more.

 

“Hey,” Chris said as Lance opened the door. “What’s going on?”

“He needs you,” Lance said. Chris opened his mouth to protest. “I have NEVER seen Justin this miserable. You know what keeps him alive…it’s the music. His ability to make it, to hear it, to feel it. And now no one can tell him why part of that has been taken. He hasn’t said a word in over three hours, and I can’t get him to even look at me. Go talk to him. You’re his best friend, Chris.”

“Not lately,” Chris mumbled. “He’s too much of a diva for me to be his best friend.”

“Puhleeze. You’re as much of a diva as he is. GO, dammit!” Lance growled, pushing Chris towards the steps.

“Fine.” Chris stomped up the stairs and Lance sighed.

 

When Chris came back downstairs a half-hour later, he wore a frown. Lance jumped up from his seat on the living room sofa. The television was on, but Lance hadn’t really been watching it. “Hey,” Lance said softly.

“You were right.” Chris looked at Lance sadly. “He…I don’t know. I guess I still thought he was playing…that it was another way of getting attention.” Chris sat down on a chair. “I guess I don’t know my best friend anymore.”

“Did…did he say anything?”

“He apologized for being a jackass lately…said he deserved everything he got. He cried, Lance.” Chris looked at his feet. “I can’t remember the last time I saw him cry. Even after that whole Britney thing, he never let us see him cry. And I hate not being able to help him!”

Lance had to smile. Ever since the beginning, Chris had adopted Justin as his favorite little brother, and he had gotten Justin out of more scrapes than Lance could count. “Thank you for coming over,” Lance said. “I’m sure he feels better.”

“I dunno,” Chris said, tugging at his chin horns thoughtfully. “But I’m glad I could try to help. Do you want him to come stay with me?”

“No,” Lance said almost too quickly. “He’s all settled in here, you know.”

Chris studied Lance carefully. “Is JC right, Lance? Do you have a thing for Justin?”

“It’s not ‘a thing,’ Chris,” Lance said. That term made it sound so stupid. “I’ve had feelings for Justin since I met him…and I’ve always kept them hidden.”

“Oh.” Lance was thankful that Chris said nothing more. “Well, I’m outta here, then. You take it easy, Lance, and call if you need anything.”

“I will,” Lance promised. Chris gave him a hug, then let himself out the front door.

Lance turned off the TV and wearily climbed the stairs. Justin’s bedroom door was open, and he was curled into a ball on the bed. As Lance slowly entered the room, he saw that Justin’s eyes were closed. Lance went to the window and drew the curtains closed.

“You don’t have to do that. I’m not sleeping,” Justin said. Lance turned and gave him a tiny smile. Justin sat up, rubbing at his eyes like a little boy. He looked up at Lance, and his eyes were so sad that Lance sat down next to him. Without saying a word, Justin moved to lay his head on Lance’s lap. Lance stroked his fingers across Justin’s head, saying nothing. “I’m nothing without music,” Justin said. Lance began to say something, and Justin could feel the vibration of Lance’s voice. “Quiet, Lance. I can’t see you anyway, and I don’t really need you to say anything.” Lance fell silent. “Who’s gonna want me around now? I can sing, but I can’t hear anything. I’d have to learn music simply by reading the notes and trying to get them right. I can’t sing WITH anyone…because I’d throw everybody off. And what else am I good for? I can’t produce, can’t really write…” A tear slid down Justin’s cheek.

Lance tugged on Justin’s shirt until he sat up to look at him. “You’re not nothing,” Lance said slowly, so Justin could understand. “And I would want you,” Lance added softly. “I think you’re wonderful.”

“Really?” Justin whispered.

“You can do anything,” Lance said bashfully. Justin lay back down on Lance’s lap, this time drawing Lance’s arm around him. He held Lance’s hand, shyly kissing the palm once before pulling Lance’s hand close to his chest.


	10. Chapter 10

SOUND OF MUSIC  
Ten

 

Lance woke up very early the next morning. In fact, he hadn’t really slept at all. Everything kept running through his mind, especially the things he had told Justin. Why? Why in the HELL had he opened himself like that? It was the LAST thing he had wanted to say. Justin was doing better in the “acting like a decent human being” department, but he was, and always had been, slightly cocky. Lance’s admissions would be seen as flattery, and Lance would be filed away with all the other admirers. And that would be that.

Justin wasn’t the only one suffering during this “Justin is deaf” phase…Lance was walking through a living nightmare. Every feeling, every skip of the heartbeat, had been carefully pushed down into the deepest corners of his being way back when he was sixteen and Justin was fourteen. Lance was girlie and gay. Justin was macho and straight (even at fourteen). And that was all there was to it. But now…now with Justin pretty much coming out to Lance, things had changed. Now Lance’s idiotic heart could hope, and its encouraged pulse thumped right below the surface of Lance’s skin. He felt everyone would know it, or sense it. And that was embarrassing.

Justin was so vulnerable now, so needy. Lance had quickly made excuses for him in the past, tried to be a good friend even when he wanted to be so much more, but now Justin NEEDED him. He chose Lance over everyone else, because he knew Lance cared. Lance hated that he cared.

Lance sighed and got out of bed at six o’clock. He went downstairs, and was startled to find Justin in the living room, watching television. The TV was muted, and Justin was watching the closed-captioning on the bottom of the screen. “Oh!” Justin said, just as surprised to see him. “Did I waken you?”

“No,” Lance said. “I didn’t sleep well.”

“Me, either,” Justin said. He turned on a light, and Lance noticed bags under Justin’s red eyes. He wondered if his eyes were just as puffy. “I’m sorry…you know, about throwing the fit yesterday.”

Lance smiled and shook his head. “It’s okay, J. I promise.”

Justin yawned and stretched, his eyes never leaving Lance’s face. “Are you okay?” Justin asked him.

“Huh? Oh, yeah.” Lance nodded. “Just a bit tired.”

“Hungry?”

“Uh, well, yeah,” Lance admitted.

“C’mon. Let’s go out for breakfast,” Justin said with a grin. “We never do that anymore.”

“Okay,” Lance said, unable to keep from smiling back.

They dressed in ratty old sweatshirts and jeans, and hopped into Lance’s car. They drove to an all night diner near Lance’s house, and happily settled into a booth. The seat was torn and the table squeaked whenever you leaned on it, but they didn’t care. It was rare they got do something like this.

Lance put the notepad on the table by his coffee cup, ready to have a conversation. Justin looked at the paper and frowned. “I wonder if we’ll ever get to TALK again.”

“Hey, if we don’t, we can have fun teaching each other how to swear in sign language,” Lance wrote. Justin didn’t smile.

“I lose my hearing, and you get writer’s cramp. Lovely.” Justin stirred sugar into his coffee.

Lance put his hand over Justin’s. “Stop it. You never know. You could wake up one morning and, bam, you’ll be fine.”

“Maybe,” Justin said, scowling at the paper. “I hope so. I promise to be a perfect freaking ANGEL if that happens.”

“No.” Lance shook his head as he wrote. “That wouldn’t be you. And we want JUSTIN…not some reformed dork.” Justin finally smiled.

 

They went for a short drive after breakfast, and they got back to Lance’s house around nine. “I cannot believe we are up and awake at nine in the morning!” Justin said as they went back into the house.

Lance sighed and shook his head. Justin was turning his world around in more ways than one, it seemed. He went to the answering machine and pushed the button. He had left his cellphone at home when they left for breakfast, wanting at least a few hours of uninterrupted peace. “Hey, Lance, it’s Joey. I tried your cell, but you didn’t answer. Where the hell are you at eight in the morning on a vacation day? Anyway…I just remembered that one of my sister’s friends is a doctor…an ear guy. Maybe J would want to see him as a second opinion or something. Let me know. Later.”

“Who was that?” Justin asked.

“Joey,” Lance said. He pulled out the tablet and wrote down Joey’s message. Justin frowned.

“No. I’m sick of doctors.”

“You’ve seen two doctors!” Lance exclaimed.

“I don’t care. You don’t understand, Lance. I don’t want rejection again…I don’t want to hear that they have no clue what’s going on,” Justin snapped.

“You don’t know shit about rejection,” Lance said, then regretted it. He was grateful that Justin couldn’t understand him, but Justin had read part of it on his lips.

“I don’t know shit about what?” Justin asked.

“Nothing. I need a shower.” Lance headed for the steps. Justin grabbed his sweatshirt and held him back.

“What did you say, Lance? Tell me,” Justin said, pouting.

“No. Never mind,” Lance carefully enunciated.

“For fuck’s sake…” Justin began.

“I SAID you don’t know about REJECTION,” Lance almost shouted in aggravation. He grabbed the tablet. “R-E-J-E-C-T-I-O-N. There.” Lance shoved the tablet at Justin’s chest and started up the steps.

“Oh, no, you don’t,” Justin said, grabbing Lance once more. “Who rejected you? Who? I’ll beat the shit out of their dumb asses.”

“You, Justin, okay? You didn’t know it, but you.”

Justin stared at him, understanding everything Lance had said, as well as what he hadn’t. “Me?” Justin whispered.

“Nevermind. It’s over and…”

“You…you liked me?”

“Ages and eons ago, Justin. Forget it.”

“No.” Justin stared at Lance, and Lance was shocked to see tears in Justin’s eyes. “I…I never knew.” Lance shrugged. “I’m sorry. I wish you would have said something.”

“Well…you were straight…not gay.”

Justin smiled. “I’m sorry you thought that. But I’m not…you know that now.”

“I know.” Lance nodded and shrugged again. “It’s over.”

“Really?” Justin whispered, and Lance wanted to lie with all his heart. He couldn’t. He slowly shook his head, and frowned at Justin’s delighted smile. “Good,” Justin said softly. “Because now I know the feelings I’ve been having for you over the last few months weren’t in vain.” He leaned forward, and before Lance could breathe, Justin kissed him.


	11. Chapter 11

SOUND OF MUSIC  
Eleven

 

“Feelings?” Lance sat down hard on a step. “For me?”

“Yeah, for you.” Justin smiled at the shock on Lance’s face. He sat down on a step a few feet lower than Lance. “I didn’t quite get it. I started thinking of you a lot, and feeling things whenever you touched me or I saw you walk into a room. At first I thought it was because I was so curious. You and JC are the only gay people I’m close to…and I couldn’t EVER have feelings for him. That would be like incest or something,” Justin said with a smile. Lance just stared at him. “So…I thought it was just because you were nearby, and it was easy. Then, especially over these last few days, I’ve realized that it’s more than that. That you are an amazing person. You’re smart and so generous, funny and sexy, and gorgeous. So, there.” Justin smiled triumphantly.

“I need a shower.” Lance stood and hurried up the steps. Justin’s smile faded.

“Lance!” Justin hurried after him.

“I need…a…shower…” Lance said slowly, putting a hand on Justin’s chest to stop him from following Lance into the bedroom. “Alone.”

“Oh. Okay.” Justin sadly turned away as Lance closed the door.

 

Lance let the water flow over him as he tried to make sense of everything. Justin, the most arrogant, self-centered, rude person on the planet, wanted him. Justin Timberlake. Justin freaking Timberlake wanted HIM. Was pretty much in love with HIM. Lance Bass. Lance shook his head. “No,” he said out loud. “Maybe it’s just because I’ve been nice to him.” But that theory didn’t work, either. Justin said he was sexy. You didn’t think someone was sexy just because you did kind things for him. If that was the case, then Joey would be the sexiest man in Lance’s life. “I can’t believe it,” Lance told himself. “Can NOT believe it. Because what if he’s just playing?” But the sad look in Justin’s eyes when Lance pushed him away told Lance that he wasn’t playing. Not at all.

Lance turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. He vigorously dried his hair, then threw a towel around his waist. He needed to talk to Justin. He opened the door into the master bedroom and gasped when he saw Justin on the bed. “Lance,” Justin said helplessly, standing up. “Please don’t push me away again. Just let me apologize, okay? I thought you meant…you said…”

“Yeah, I did.” Lance walked over and kissed Justin, placing both hands on Justin’s face. Justin squeaked in surprise and pulled back. “I did. And I meant it.”

“Oh,” Justin said, smiling.

“I’m sorry. It just…I’ve wanted it for a while.” Lance desperately wished for a notepad, but they were all downstairs. “I’m sorry,” he repeated.

“It’s okay,” Justin said. “I understand, really.” They kissed again, Justin’s arms sliding around Lance’s waist. “God, you’ve got a great ass,” Justin murmured, licking at Lance’s damp neck. Lance moaned and Justin grinned. “I felt that against my lips,” Justin whispered. He yanked at the towel, and suddenly Lance was naked.

Lance let out a yelp. “Justin!”

“Damn,” Justin muttered, looking Lance over. Before Lance could say a word, Justin began to quickly undress. “Is this…too fast?” Justin asked, worried about the look on Lance’s face.

“I, uh, well, no,” Lance babbled, torn between doing what he THOUGHT was the right thing and doing what he wanted. Suddenly Justin was naked, and the right thing went right out the window.

“Teach me,” Justin whispered to Lance, tugging at his hand until they both fell onto the bed. “Show me what to do. Make love to me.”

“You don’t want me to do that yet,” Lance said, shaking his head. “It hurts.”

“I KNOW, idiot. But I want you to.” Justin smiled up at Lance and Lance yet again threw “the right thing” out the window. They kissed and Lance’s hands finally got to wander all over Justin’s delicious body. Lance savored every sound coming from Justin’s mouth, the moaning and panting and begging. Lance fumbled through the nightstand drawer until he found a tube of lubricant. He wanted this to go as easily as possible for Justin. “Oh!” Justin said in surprise as one of Lance’s fingers slowly slid inside. Lance waited until Justin’s eyes fluttered closed, then he began to slowly suck Justin, working his way up and down Justin’s cock as his fingers fluttered inside of Justin. “Oh…Lance…right…” Justin let out a gasp as Lance found exactly the right place. “That’s…fuck…”

Lance was up to three fingers before he felt Justin was ready. He moved away, and Justin watched him with total trust. Lance unwrapped a condom and slowly slid it on himself. He covered it all with lubricant, then bent between Justin’s legs. He started to say something, then stopped. Words couldn’t express it, and Justin couldn’t hear him anyway. Lance bent down to gently kiss Justin’s nose, then he slowly lined himself up. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, slowly moving inside.

“Oh…fucking God…” Justin winced, his hands grabbing at the sheets. Lance continued to take it slow until he was all the way inside. He paused for only a second, knowing that waiting any longer would not make it easier. He slowly moved out, then in. He watched Justin’s face, waiting for him to finally relax. When Justin’s eyes finally opened, Lance began to move at a steady pace. Lance moaned at Justin’s tightness.

“You’re so good…” Lance mumbled, throwing his head back.

Justin desperately wanted to hear Lance, wanted to hear the sounds that Lance was making. For about the nine millionth time, he cursed whatever had made him lose his hearing. He reached up and placed a shaking palm on Lance’s chest. A smile slowly crossed Justin’s face as he felt every sound that Lance made, felt every shuddering breath. And when Lance came inside him, the hand was pressed between their chests as Lance collapsed onto him.


	12. Chapter 12

SOUND OF MUSIC  
Twelve

 

Justin reached over, determined to stop the annoying sound that was ringing in his ears. “Hello?” He said groggily.

“Lance?”

“No, he’s…” Justin opened one eye and looked at the clock. Six pm. He and Lance had slept the afternoon away. He rolled over, looked at the empty side of the bed, and realized the shower was running. “He’s in the shower, Chris.”

“Okay, well, I’ll call back later.”

“Okay.” Justin hung up the phone and put his head under the pillow. At the same moment that he yanked the pillow from his head, the phone rang again.

“Curly?”

“Chris?” Justin screamed, sitting up. “Oh, man, I never thought I’d be so happy to hear your voice!”

“What the hell happened?”

“I don’t know…I was asleep, and now I’m awake, and I can hear!” Justin didn’t feel the need to explain to Chris about what had happened BEFORE he fell asleep.

“Justin…man…” Chris, for once, was speechless.

“I know. I’ll call you later. I have to go…hear.” Justin hung up and threw the phone down. “Lance!” Justin ran into the bathroom, ignoring the slight pain that reminded him of everything that had happened earlier. “Lance!”

“Are you okay?” Lance opened the shower door. Justin jumped in with him. “Justin…”

“I can hear, Lance!” Justin smiled happily. “Chris called and I heard the phone and I heard his voice and I hear this shower and I hear you!”

“You can hear?” Lance’s mouth fell open.

“Yes.” Justin grabbed Lance and hugged him, kissing his shoulder. “I can hear! I gotta go. I’ll call you later…because I can!” Justin darted back out of the shower and ran to get dressed, not even bothering to dry himself off. Lance didn’t follow him.

 

“So what exactly happened?” JC demanded as soon as he, Joey and Chris entered Lance’s house. “Where’s Justin?”

“I don’t know.” Lance sat on the sofa and stared at his coffee table. “He flew outta here and I haven’t heard from him since.”

“He just woke up and could hear?” Joey asked.

“I guess so. I was in the shower when he woke up.”

“Why was he sleeping at six in the evening?” Chris wanted to know. Lance blushed and tried to think up a good lie.

“That doesn’t matter,” Joey said quickly, watching Lance’s face. “What matters is that Justin can hear again…that everything’s back to normal.”

“It will never be normal again,” Lance said softly. He stood. “Anyone want a beer?”

“Sure! We should celebrate, even though the guest of honor isn’t here,” Chris said.

“I’ll help you.” Joey followed Lance into the kitchen. “Talk.”

“Joey, what are you talking about?” Lance began to dig through his refrigerator.

“What happened between you and Justin?” Joey’s voice was gentle, and Lance was yet again reminded of why Joey was his best friend.

“We happened. And it was good. And then he woke up and he could hear and now he’s gone.”

“You guys fucked?”

“It was more than that, Joey,” Lance snapped. “It was everything. He said he’s had feelings for me for a while. Justin’s bisexual, Joe. Has been for a long time, apparently. We never knew, and don’t go blabbing about it.” Lance popped the caps off of four bottles of beer.

“I won’t,” Joey promised. “Dammit, Lance, I knew he’d sweet-talk you into something bad someday, but I never expected THIS to happen.”

“It wasn’t bad, Joey, it was great. And so what? I mean, he’s healed. That’s all that matters.”

“He’s healed, and your heart is broken,” Joey said, putting a hand on Lance’s shoulder. Lance shrugged it off and left the kitchen.

 

“Lance,” Justin whispered, lightly shaking him. “Lansten.”

“Huh?” Lance rubbed his eyes and looked at the clock on the wall. It was almost midnight. The others had left around eight-thirty, tired of waiting for Justin to come back. “Justin?”

“Hey.” Justin sat down next to Lance on the sofa, turning off the TV with the remote that lay on the coffee table. “I’m sorry I’m late. I was just out listening, you know? I didn’t know how much I missed.”

“I’m so glad,” Lance said wearily. “Now you can go back home.”

“So ready to get rid of me?” Justin teased.

“Well, don’t you want to go back to your house?”

“Sure, but are you saying you don’t want me around here?”

“Well, you don’t want to be around here, right?”

Justin shook his head. “I’m confused. You just wanted a quick fuck and that’s it?”

“WHAT? No!” Lance exclaimed. “You’re okay now. You don’t need me now. You can go back to the old Justin.”

“I don’t want to go back to the old Justin. I want to come back to the old Lance. The Lance I love.”

“But…you…”

“Dammit, Lance, do you really think that little of yourself?” Justin asked in amazement. “I wasn’t saying all that shit just because you were helping me. I meant it. I mean, hell, Lance…I think you fucked the hearing right back into my ears!” Justin said with a smile. “It’s not over…unless you want it to be.”

“No,” Lance whispered, still in shock. “No.”

“Good.” Justin smiled and kissed him. “Now, let’s go upstairs, and do everything all over again…so I can hear it.”

“Okay,” Lance said, taking Justin’s hand and slowly following him up the stairs.

 

“You’re sure about this?” A skeptical Voice said as he watched the two men sleep. The taller man had his arms wrapped around the shorter man, his face buried in the man’s blond hair.

“Absolutely. Look at how happy they are.” Voice Two smiled fondly as the men snuggled together, even in sleep.

“If you say so. I still think he’s an ass.”

“But he knows it now…and they were meant to be. You know that.”

“Yeah, I know that.”

THE END


End file.
